Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him."
With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm; acting "as if she really loved him." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, and sharing.
When she didn't return, Crane called. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?" "Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him."
Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion had resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by enthusiastic promises but the habit of repeated deeds.
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. Love is a deep unity kept willfully and deliberately. It is strengthened by habits and reinforced by God’s grace. In the words of C. S. Lewis: This is the kind of love that fuels marriage; being in love was simply the explosion that started it.
-Pastor Dino Griffin