I am not suggesting this, but if you were to take a mild tranquilizer half and hour before a family meltdown, you would probably convey great peace when it happened. Your anxiety would lessen and you might float through the whole thing calm and gentle. Conflict in the family would seem like no big deal, and you could approach problems calmly as long as the effects of the pill lasted. Perhaps your serenity would spread to other family members as well—but at the cost of exposing you to a bad and dangerous habit.
I am not recommending tranquilizers for family problems. What we really need is a genuine peace—the kind that’ll make a dog wag his tail and babies hold out their arms to you. Neither am I recommending a casual peace of “oh it doesn’t really matter”; a so-called peace that lets important matters slide or that fails to come to grips with real problems. The peace I am talking about must not condone irresponsibility or escapism; but must arise from an inner assurance that all is well—the clear eyed peace of a person who is in touch with God.
When you are upset, irritated and angry, you cannot contribute to peace in others. But when your spirit is quiet and at rest, then when you intervene in a fight your peace will reassure others, diminishing their resentment. Move in with aggression and you may gain some control over others, but you will never solve the resentments and bitterness that gave rise to the explosion in the first place. A gentle and quiet spirit is of great price in God’s sight and an equally priceless resource in family life. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
-Pastor Dino Griffin